Wednesday, July 25, 2007

check six

I know you have heard the Chuck Norris sayings, so here's some of the aviation inspired ones. There are more, these are just my favorites.

Chuck Norris doesn't request clearances, he states intentions.

Chuck Norris never gets vectors to final . . . final gets vectored to
Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.

Hijackers squawk 7400 when Chuck Norris is on board

If you ever lose sight of Chuck Norris, check your six o'clock.

When Chuck Norris taxies onto the runway, incoming traffic is told to
hold short

Chuck Norris never "loses" altitude, he simply gets rid of it when he no
longer has any use for it.

Chuck Norris has never landed with a crosswind. The wind would never
dare get cross with Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris flies, the altimeter setting is 00.00. Chuck Norris is
never under pressure.

When the BASH condition is Red, planes don't fly. When the BASH
condition is Norris, birds don't fly.

Chuck Norris has never had a midair collision, He has shot down any
plane that has gotten within 10 miles

When told to break at the numbers, Chuck Norris politely reminded the
controller that Chuck Norris cannot be broken and proceeded with the
straight in.

Right of Way rules do not apply when Chuck Norris is flying. If you are
flying toward Chuck Norris, you are wrong.

Chuck Norris doesn't shoot approaches...he kills them.

Chuck Norris is never off of glideslope, the glideslope is off of Chuck
Norris

Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier with his Bell X-1 Jet. Chuck Norris
broke the sound barrier with his fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't manage operational risk...he seeks it.

An ejection seat is not safe until Chuck Norris gets out of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't need crew rest...he never sleeps.

Chuck Norris was once denied a clearance...once

Minimum Safe Altitudes do not apply when Chuck Norris is airborne, if
you are in the air when Chuck Norris is flying you are never safe.

Chuck Norris is never given the instructions "when able" . Chuck Norris
is never unable to do anything.

Favorable winds are always in the same direction as Chuck Norris' flight
path

Chuck Norris has never had to adapt his eyes to the dark. His infrared
vision is working perfectly fine.

T-45 Anti Icing Capabilities: Pitot Heat, 5th Stage Bleed Air, Chuck
Norris

A permanent TFR surrounds Chuck Norris...no one is safe.

Chuck Norris cannot be tracked on radar, if he appears, it is too late;
you are already dead.

A good flight for Chuck Norris is a bad flight for you.

Leading cause of disorientation for pilots: Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once moved a stationary front.

Chuck Norris is the only person to graduate SERE School via
correspondence.

Chuck Norris isn't holding, he is circling above his victims.

The weather outlook for the area around Chuck Norris: 100% Chance of
Pain

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